Meltdown

Day 3 after treatment and I am okay. It has been a weekend filled with ups and downs.

Friday was uneventful other than I worked from my aunt's as the cabin continues to be sandblasted. (More on that later!) I admit I felt a bit more fatigued than last treatment which could be in part the severe anemia I now have. I have always had extremely low hemoglobin and have never been able to donate blood but the chemo is making it worse. I have been given prescription strength horse pills- er, I mean iron pills, which I can't even start until Tuesday so that my GI tract might recover from Thursday a bit! We ended the workweek with a wonderful dinner compliments of Jess; she even made spinach at my request as I am on a quest for iron rich food! It was nice to be able to spend a quiet evening with her and Tony.

Saturday morning we celebrated Father's Day with my grandfather by taking him to the diner for breakfast. At 85 years old, he amazes me constantly. He is sharp as tack and funny to boot. His optimism towards life makes me proud to be his granddaughter. From there I traipsed off for a wig fitting! Now that I have no hair, (or very little,) I could be properly fitted. Once fit snugly upon my head, my "new" hair glistened in the sunlight. It was oh - about 98 degrees out, so I promptly removed it, had it bagged and decided my thinning buzzcut was the way to go. I was headed to meet Ted and Misty for lunch in NYC and quickly realized I had two issues: one, I did not have a hat to protect my quickly emerging scalp and I could not leave my wig in a hot car. What to do, what to do? A quick call to Erin saved my wig - and a quick stop at Target saved my head!

Although it was a hot day, I so enjoyed seeing both Ted and Misty - they are both truly genuine people and quickly made me forget my ills with stories of those we know in common. It was a great way to pass the afternoon. After a quick stop to pick up my wig from its sitter(Thank you Pillepich Family!) I arrived home to a total mess and proceed to have a total meltdown.

Now, don't get me wrong, the work on our cabin is progressing quite quickly and "The Cabin Doctor" guys have been very meticulous in cleaning up , etc. but the sandblasting of the black stain from our chestnut logs leaves in its wake a fine black dust - ON EVERYTHING!!! I could not stay in my home. Everything I touched was dusty and I was exhausted. I couldn't help Greg clean, all I could do was cry and - flee to my mother's! I am so thankful she is nearby and I can go at a moment's notice! My niece and nephews were there to help distract me. Greg joined us for dinner along with my grandfather. I was in bed by 7:30 and slept about 12 hours. Like I said, I am tired!

I did get up and go down to the track for my daily exercise. I ran/walked 2 miles and felt pretty good. Greg came and got me around 10 and we headed off to Doug and Meridith's beautiful wedding! We had a wonderful time watching them exchange vows and visiting with their friends and family - most importantly their lovely daughter, Ella Jane. (Yes, I will brag - that middle name is after moi; I had a hand in introducing her Mom and Dad!) I also was able to talk to Mer and Doug's friend Susan who is battling a brain tumor - her 2nd occurrence. (We had matching ports!) She is a very brave woman and made me feel like nothing is impossible with her incredible viewpoint on life. I will keep her in my prayers. So I am back home, exhausted once again and looking forward to a very early evening. MANY THANKS TO DENISE AND JOEL for dropping off dinner! It is a life saver on a night like tonight! Greg has done what he can with the house; unfortunately our best laid plans of having me be able to work from home while I recover from chemo and be here while the workers are here to give them access to the inside of our home are not panning out - I'll stay tonight but will have to leave home again once the blasting begins.

One last note - another "down" for the weekend.... seems our home study expires September 22 so of course, we need to update it. The home study includes updated medical records. I spoke to our social worker Friday who could not really say one way or another if we still have any hope of having a daughter from China. I'll be calling my surgeon and oncologist tomorrow to request letters detailing my diagnosis, treatment and most importantly, my prognosis. I am doing my best not to dwell on this and we will do what we can, but fate shall take its path and I will follow.