Why the title of this post? Well, here I go totally dating myself but for some bizarre reason I woke up this beautiful Saturday morning with their lovely one-hit wonder "Saturday Night" playing on an endless loop in my head. I cannot recall any dreams I may have had with this song playing as a soundtrack (or nightmares depending on how you view things)- just plain weird.
I am happy to have made it through this past week. It was tough trying to remain positive. I am quickly learning I can no longer do everything I want to do and even in one of the most difficult decisions I have had to make, made the choice to stay home last night rather than go see one of my all time favorite bands, The Cure.
I of course always picture Robert Smith as he looked in 1987 so it is probably for the best we did not venture into the city as our seats were pretty decent... Jess was a great friend, she instead brought over the pre-requisite chick flick and we just hung out and watched "The Holiday". For those who have not seen it; don't bother! We also received another wonderful meal from Denise. Earlier in the week we received one from Laurie too. I am not sure if I have said it enough, I really have the most wonderful friends, who just happen to all be wonderful cooks!
This week was one of many eye-opening life lessons for me most of which is boy, cancer really does suck! It has the ability to make me feel very tired, not want to eat, make me cry over nothing at all, make me feel helpless about something happening to my own body, make me frustrated that I cannot live the life I want be living and then I realized my situation is one of the ones that isn't so bad! Yes, I have gone through the surgery but it was same day surgery. I did not lose a body part. Aside from my scars, which have healed quite nicely, you would not know I have any health issues - oh wait, there is the bald head , but that could be a fashion statement right? So big picture even though I may need to nap (a lot), need to cry (daily) and lighten up my control issues (going to have work on this one!), I know I have it pretty good. Like I said I have wonderful friends, an incredible family and a husband who has the good sense to know to say - "No , that hat doesn't make you look fat...."
So thank you to all of you who helped me through this past week. Special thanks to Laurie's mom Gail, a breast cancer survivor, who passed along her angel pin to me; for my mom for letting my stay at her house to escape the cabin dust; to my brother Bill for reminding me this is "just temporary": and to Greg for reminding me how I felt at mile 22 of the Marine Corps Marathon and yet I pressed on and finished: one step at a time. One step at time, no matter how fast or slow will get me to the finish line. Being a typical type A, I like to win, so let the race continue!
1 comment:
It's hard to choose the right words to say to you when reading your blog makes me feel very emotional. I admire your courage, keeping your life as normal as possible when you feel mentally and physically exhausted. Don't know if I would have that in me. I remember you in my prayers every night. I wish you the best. Jill's mom
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