It is a cold/icy/snowy/grey Tuesday in January and I am sad. Oh sure I laugh and joke about needing an ultraviolet light in my house with which I could to bask in front; I might even casually mention that perhaps a quick jaunt to Florida will knock the blues from my being and the chills from my spine. However, I am sad and it is not something that the sun can quickly remedy.
I am sad because while it is only Tuesday it has already proven to be a horrible week. Two people I know fighting the good fight against the beast lost the war and left this world. Two people much too young to have to had suffer through surgical procedure after surgical procedure as well as treatments that made them feel terrible and weak, and forced them to face their own mortality. Two lives that were cut short due to that d*mn "C" word - yes, you know it, - cancer.
Writing it, saying it, seeing it makes my stomach ache and my hands tremble. I yell (to no one in particular) "This is the 21st century! We were supposed to have hover cars and to have cured this thing... what the heck happened???!!! Sure I have the distraction of school, of my job, and of course of snow removal. I have many days ahead with great events scheduled, shows to see, and folks to spend time with; yet I am restless, angry at "the big plan" that we have no control over. I need a plan of attack, I need to do something - anything - to try to make this funk go away. So I sit here and I type. I will remember to call my family and tell them I love them. I will enjoy time with my friends. I will enjoy the snow by changing it into something to be conquered when I don snowshoes this Saturday. I will once again be sure to embrace all that this life has given me - good and bad - and be thankful. I will this life to the fullest I possibly can and hope that my example will inspire others to do the same.
So yes, I am sad but it is okay. Being sad reminds me of how good it feels to be happy. Being sad reminds me that I know love and loss. Being sad is part of life and like I said, I 'll take it all - the good and the bad, the happy and the sad.
Rest in Peace CL and MC.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
One week into the new year and I still do not think I have decided what my resolutions will be... well, I guess that is not entirely true. It has really come down to deciding which I think I might just keep. I do have quite a few so below is my top ten:
- Return to school - that is covered, my MS of Health Communication program starts January 18th at my alma mater , Boston University. Trying the online route, we will see how it goes!
- Complete my 1st Ironman 70.3 - I am registered and have 9 months to train for this one.
- Be more aware of the foods I eat - a wise friend said "if it can go bad, it is good for you" - referring to fruits, vegetables, fresh foods etc. Thankfully a wonderful new market opened up walking distance from my house: The Art of Healthy Living. Never thought I would hear myself saying, "boy, that blueberry hemp "iScream" is to die for" but I have.
- Simplify, simplify, simplify. This is a tough one. I am really referring to the material things in my life of which I have many and really do not need. I have started paring down, donating many items to the local church thrift shop, the Lupus Foundation, and Goodwill. I admit I feel better with more open space.
- Go electronic. By go electronic I mean lose the day planner. I have a blackberry, an iPhone and thanks to Santa, an iPad. I am determined to transfer my hard copy calendar to my iPhone and so far have gotten through March... more typing to go!
- Stretch more.
- Take time to do nothing. Another tough one, but I am learning it is okay to just stay home.
- See all the films nominated for best picture BEFORE the Oscars - working on this one having seen The Fighter and Black Swan so far...
- Try one new thing a month. (I have to have some fun!) In January I will be trying snowshoeing for the first time as I join "Hey Snow Sister" for the 2011 Romp to Stomp 5K. My friend Jess will be joining me as we snowshoe in the breast cancer awareness fundraiser. I look forward to joining my friend Jim and his daughter - Jim is team captain - they know first hand why this disease needs to be wiped from the planet.
- Procrastinate less. Another tough one as I said to myself..."hmm, have not blogged in awhile - putting the holiday decorations in the attic can wait a bit....) I really mean "Carpe diem!" with this one for if not now, when?