The Bargaining

I could tell it was going to be one of "those" days when I awoke Monday morning to find myself trying to negotiate with God. "Okay - just give me one good hour this morning without feeling this chemical reaction going off inside my body and I swear I'll never eat anything with palm oil in it again... or "If I can just get through the afternoon without falling asleep at my desk I promise to be in bed before 9 every night, even when this is all over" Yes, it was to be "one of those days".

I had company all day, our Alaskan Malamute, Tacoma (pictured here) lay in the office as I worked. She has not been feeling well either. Greg was able to snag a coveted noon appointment and I talked to myself at loud as I drove her there to keep it together: "You can do this, it is just for a few minutes, you can sit down at the vet's office, she will be fine". Tacoma has been drinking a lot of water lately and having issues holding it until she outside. Our vet did a urinalysis and her sugar is fine so no diabetes. Whew! He then did bloodwork to test for kidney disease and for Cushing's Syndrome - we should hear something today. Greg had asked me to have the vet look at a lump on her stomach while there so our ever patient pup obediently rolled over for the exam. Dr. Sova found two lumps. He shaved her fur and showed me what he found. One lump high on her chest bone appears to be a fatty lipoma - common in older dogs (Tacoma will be 13 on Halloween this year!). The other was located near her nipple, was bruised looking and scabby - NOT GOOD. Dr. Sova pointed to the lump and said "..this could be a mammary tumor, like breast cancer". My heart sank and my mouth opened before I could think about what I was saying: "WE CAN"T BOTH HAVE BREAST CANCER!!!" Dr. Sova and his nurses didn't know what to say or do - me, I just held on to Tacoma as they took a biopsy and wondered how the heck I was going to call my husband and tell him that the other woman in his life may also be sick. I mean this had to be some big cosmic joke, right? Who knew dogs could even get breast cancer???!!! So now we wait for the results, holding our breath and hoping for the best.

My afternoon did not improve. We needed a plumber as our cold water pipe in the kitchen cracked. He arrived timely (I just keep handing out the benjamins...)and proceeded to fix our sink. Me, I had a two hour conference call. I paid no heed to when he said he was turning off our main water supply. Sure, until I panicked and realized I had no water in the house, I was feeling bad and really needed something to drink. My wonderful sister-in-law was the recipient of one of my breakdown messages (My apologies Christine!) but I then e-mailed John who helped me track down my mom who, as always, came to my rescue!

So I awoke today praying for a better day. I feel about the same but the sun is out; I am throwing positive energy on the dog and I have plenty of water. I will make it through this day!!!