PHASE 1 - Surgery - done. PHASE 2 - Chemo - DONE!!!

Last Needle

Being Bubbled

Best Nurses - Eileen

Best Nurses - Beth


April 22 seems like a distant memory. 4/22 was the day of my lumpectomy. 4/22 was the day I learned my cancer had spread. 4/22 was the day I found out I needed chemotherapy. I found an oncologist I admired and trusted: Dr. Ruth Oratz. She was open and honest and ended my consultation with me by giving me a hug. I knew I was in the right place.

Since May I have been visiting her office; for past three months I have been there weekly. Each visit as I arrived, I was greeted with a smile from the front desk associates: Nancy and Anna. I was then greeted with another smile by a nurse, either Beth or Eileen. I never felt more cared for. These women pulled me through my treatments, made sure I was feeling okay and not just physically - they could tell when I was down or tired and trying to hide it. I knew I could always call them anytime (and I did!). I never felt like a "patient" - they made me feel like a person.

So it was with mixed emotion that I visited the office for my very last Taxol treatment. Greg was my partner - he was there for the first visit and was with me to celebrate my last. When the needle was withdrawn from my port for the last time, I was elated but at the same time overcome with sadness and fear. This had become routine. I knew I was being treated against further spread of cancer. Now what? How would I know I was really okay? Such a rush of emotions, I was in tears as we sat in Beth's office where I had been directed.

Beth and Eileen soon joined Greg and I and closed the door behind them. Beth told me they had a ritual for those who finished chemo: they got bubbled. And as she and Eileen began to blow bubbles all around me they spoke of the bubbles as each a wish for good health and happiness. They mentioned the optimism and spirit I showed as I underwent treatment and how it was an inspiration for all. They made me even more emotional - what wonderful, kind women they are. Everyone in the office is! I left yesterday a much different person then when I walked in almost six months ago.

I say I am different because I have now endured things I never imagine I would. Chemo - it is not fun, but you can learn to make the best of it. Being bald - well, that has at least been interesting! Breaking down due to fatigue and the low level chemical buzz my body seems to constantly have - I ran marathons, how could I be so tired? Having to ask for help - I am not too good at that but quickly learned it was okay. Being so moved I was/am at a loss for words by the actions of my friends and family who carried me through the past six months on thoughts, prayers, food, laughs, cards, calls, emails, etc. - I am eternally grateful.

I am not yet quite "done". My port will soon be removed - YAHOO! I then face three weeks of radiation. After 24 weeks of chemo, it will be a piece of cake. Then the biggest challenge of all - moving on and not letting the fear of recurrence take over my life. I'll be on Tamoxifen for five years to help with that. As, I said, I am a different person then I was six months ago. I am a person who has had cancer. I am a person who has survived the first steps of beating this disease. I am a person who has truly come to appreciate this thing we call life and all of those folks who are in it with me. My journey continues - I just can't wait to see where the road takes me next!