WTF?

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So, I finally get a call from my doc and what I hear is, "Hello my dear, I am sorry but your biopsy came back positive."

I respond -"WHAT???!!!"

My doctor answers , "blah,blah,blah..." or at least that is what I heard.

Seriously folks - WTF? Again I have no fears of dying (well, eventually of course, unless I find Lestat or Bill Compton) but really, to have have to deal with the whole "C" word again can truly be somewhat trying. I mean c'mon, I have the NYC 1/2 marathon in March, the Lehigh Valley 1/2 in April (which I will be running with my girlfriends attired as our favorite female superheros - you can guess who I'll be decked out as), May brings my trip to Europe, the Spring Lake 5, the Bike for Hunger, followed by June which is the Wyckoff Triathlon. SORRY CANCER - I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU!!!

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and positive thoughts - keep 'em coming. 2010 will be the year I kicked cancer's a$$ - AGAIN!

No news is, well, no news.

I am not sure I can share Andy's sentiment about waiting when it comes to medical test results!

I was fortunate enough to speak to my physician today but my biopsy results are still "pending". "Pending? What does that mean?" That means she did not receive them yet. "Maybe in a day or two." Did you hear me slam down my phone in frustration? (Okay, I am making that up as I was on the phone in my car, but in my mind I slammed it down!)

So I again remind myself that patience is a virtue and try to focus on my upcoming race, visiting with family and friends, the fact that spring is approaching while trying not to jump every time the phone rings. Oh yeah, watching the Olympics helps too! Hopefully I'll be posting again tomorrow - only to let everyone know that everything is A-OK!

Tell me why I don't like Mondays

I know I am showing my age by using a quote from the song Bob Geldof penned while a member of the Boomtown Rats:

"And the silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload..."

That song basically sums up how I have been feeling all week as I wait for confirmation from my doctor that all is well with the biopsy I had done last Saturday and all my worry has been for naught.

Thankfully I had a nice distraction as my very good friend Patrice was in town from St. Louis. Jess joined me along with Gina - one of Patrice's co-workers (she was in Philly for training)- and we had a girls day in NYC. We saw HAIR which was wonderful, I just love that soundtrack even though the underlying message is a bit heavy and still applicable to life today! We had dinner at the Glass House Tavern in the theater district followed by drinks at the W. A good day indeed.

So, tomorrow I'll be calling my doc first thing; my mantra has been "no news is good news" but I hope to let you all know that my next news is nothing but good!

Curling?

I am a huge fan of the Olympics. Yes, this is a recent addiction which I think started with the 2006 Torino games when I followed the exploits of Bodie Miller, Apolo Ohno and Shaun White. I then devoured the 2008 summer games in Beijing which helped to distract me from my ongoing medical treatment; it did not hurt that I was a recent convert to the religion of running either - I had new appreciation for the athletes and the training that had brought them to China.

Greg and I were fortunate enough to visit Vancouver in the fall of 2009. We were so impressed with the city, the Sea to Sky highway, Whistler mountain, etc. that we contemplated what life would be like living there - what neighborhood would we want to live in, what could we do for employment; you get the idea. So, we waited for the 2010 Winter games with excitement. Bodie would be back as well as Shaun and Apolo. I was rooting for Lindsey and Hannah - c'mon girls bring home the gold! As a hockey fan I was looking forward to seeing Team USA play, well, play anybody! So we have been watching: horrified by the accident that took the life of a Russian luger, knowing it would be the Great One as the last torch bearer, feeling anxious about Lindsey's injury - "will she or won't she race?", keeping our fingers crossed for Bodie- "just behave this year!" as well as hoping that Apolo Ahno would be remembered for something other than Dancing With the Stars. So far we have not been disappointed: medal count for Team USA as of 7pm 2-16 is 8.

So as we settled down this evening in front of the television to get the latest from the games, we found ourselves watching curling. Were you even aware this was still an Olympic sport? We tried our best to figure out the rules. Not sure how close we came. As we continued to watch I realized the women we watched had made it there without endorsements (Ever see a curler on a box of Wheaties?) and probably without a huge fan base. But they were there, going for the gold. I figured if they can work full time (which according to the announcer they did) and still make an Olympic team than I really have not much to complain about. When I am out there slogging alone through my early morning runs, I'll remember those women sweeping the ice in front of their stone and smile. GO TEAM USA!!!

The Waiting aka Happy VD Day!

Jane's Journey
www.jchildebrandt.blogspot.com

Trying to figure out this blog/Facebook thing....

So, I had surgery Saturday and everything went somewhat okay - I say somewhat as I had some bleeding which left me with "packing" - yes, it is uncomfortable as it sounds.... I see my doc tomorrow am to remove it.

I was given some pain meds just in case; last night when I started to feel the "packing" I figured, hey, I'll take some meds and everything will be fine. Yeah, sure - sounds good in theory but in real life execution - not so much. I had nightmares all night. I kept seeing my grandmother - my mom's mom - who passed away when I was only 22. In my dreams/nightmares I hugged her so tightly and was so thrilled to see her; to her it was just another day. I am trying not read anything into my dreams about those who have left me but since I will not have my results until Friday it is a bit hard to do.

It has been an interesting weekend. I ran into a high school classmate at the Devils game Friday night - Karen you look awesome - I am quietly envying your beautiful thick dark hair.... and then I ran into Dawn and Preston - a great couple who were each a year ahead of me at BHS but life being what it is reconnected after 20 years. They live nearby and I hope to see them again soon.

It is only two weeks until the Hyannis 1/2 - Positive thoughts only and lots of training over the next two weeks...

Celebrate Today

I am back in NJ, facing a morning that may be snow covered and not really happy about it. I hate the fact I no longer look forward to lots of the white stuff but since I am not a professional snowboarder, skier, dog musher, or snowmobiler it basically only has negative impact on my life. Traffic snarls or stops; the outside world looks pretty for a day or but then everything become encrusted in a coating of salt, dirt, slushy messiness that makes my morning runs downright treacherous. The few days I spent in Florida seem already a lifetime ago!

I had a great time visiting with my aunts and grandfather. I spent the weekend at Disney which always makes me happy. As I watched the parade at the Magic Kingdom, its theme - "Celebrate Today" struck very close to home for me. The focus in Disney was on being a volunteer and celebrating all that you can do today to make the world a better place. Yes, I am a believer. I try ,oh I try to do something everyday to make the world a better place. Today I made sure I paid attention and turned the water off while I brushed my teeth. I said thank you to the life guard at the pool where I did my morning swim - he looked at me like I had two heads - I meant thank you for being there at 5am so that I could swim knowing if I needed help, it was nearby.

Saturday grows closer. My pre-admission testing is complete. I await a call Friday to tell me what time to report to the hospital. In the meantime I will continue to focus on "celebrating today" - what can you do to make today a better day?

FEAR

I have just had a wonderful weekend. We celebrated my husband's 40th birthday surrounded by family and friends. This coming weekend stands to also be wonderful as I will be at Walt Disney World - the happiest place on earth. I am looking forward to seeing my grandfather along with my aunts. I am looking forward to some sun,sea, and if lucky, surfing. So why do I title this post fear?

I am alluding to the fact that upon my return to NJ my very first task will be to visit Chilton Memorial Hospital for pre-admission testing. Testing required before the biopsy I'll be having on Saturday, the 13th. The biopsy that is causing me to lose sleep, eat cheesecake and drink too much wine. The biopsy that I pray comes back as "nothing". The biopsy that has the ability to turn my life upside if it comes back with "something".

So send the positive vibes my way and I hope to post happy news come this Valentine's Day! Meanwhile I am off to see the Mouse!