Seasonal Affective Disorder

It is a cold/icy/snowy/grey Tuesday in January and I am sad.  Oh sure I laugh and joke about needing an ultraviolet light in my house with which I could to bask in front; I might even casually mention that perhaps a quick jaunt to Florida will knock the blues from my being and the chills from my spine.  However, I am sad and it is not something that the sun can quickly remedy.

I am sad because while it is only Tuesday it has already proven to be a horrible week.  Two people I know fighting the good fight against the beast lost the war and left this world.  Two people much too young to have to had suffer through surgical procedure after surgical procedure as well as treatments that made them feel terrible and weak, and forced them to face their own mortality.   Two lives that were cut short due to that d*mn "C" word - yes, you know it,  - cancer.

Writing it, saying it, seeing it makes my stomach ache and my hands tremble.  I yell (to no one in particular) "This is the 21st century!  We were supposed to have hover cars and to have cured this thing... what the heck happened???!!!  Sure I have the distraction of school, of my job, and of course of snow removal.  I have many days ahead with great events scheduled, shows to see, and folks to spend time with; yet I am restless, angry at "the big plan" that we have no control over. I need a plan of attack, I need to do something - anything - to try to make this funk go away.  So I sit here and I type.  I will remember to call my family and tell them I love them.  I will enjoy time with my friends.  I will enjoy the snow by changing it into something to be conquered when I don snowshoes this Saturday.  I will once again be sure to embrace all that this life has given me - good and bad - and be thankful.  I will this life to the fullest I possibly can and hope that my example will inspire others to do the same.

So yes, I am sad but it is okay.  Being sad reminds me of how good it feels to be happy.  Being sad reminds me that I know love and loss.  Being sad is part of life and like I said, I 'll take it all - the good and the bad, the happy and the sad. 

Rest in Peace CL and MC.