Take Time to Smell the Flowers

I sit and type this morning with my kitchen windows open and listening to the birds gathering in the budding trees in my yard while in the background the sound of the swiftly moving water cascading over the nearby waterfall and hitting the rocks below acts as a natural stress reducer. Spring is here in NJ in all of its glory; warm days, cools nights, daffodils, tulips and forsythia abound. The sun stays in the sky longer and I have started to see the pale limbs of the masses emerge in shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops as the heavy layers of winter have been packed away.

I have spent the past days recovering from my latest visit to the operating room of NYU Hospital. "Everything went well", says my doctor. "We will have results in a week." A week; seven days, 164 hours of waiting. Again. I am becoming extremely efficient at refocusing my anxiety. I have caught up on the 2010 Oscar nominated films for Best Movie - well, all but Avatar (Still hopeful to watch it on the big screen). I have read every comment friends and family have posted to Facebook or emailed or sent in a card. I have emptied my wardrobe of my winter wools and replaced it with the cotton and linens of spring.

I have spent the most amount of time taking slow walks around my yard and neighborhood and marveling at the resiliency of the fragile flowers that are blooming everywhere. Their simple beauty reminds me of the simple joys of life - warm sunshine, blue skies, and green grass under bare feet.

Two years ago I was waiting during this exact weekend to find out if I had breast cancer or not. (We all know how that turned out.) Back then I was so dazed and scared that spring came and went and I seem to have missed it, so focused on the fight I was facing. Not this time. I am still scared; I am unhappy that once again this body of mine is causing me angst even greater than how my derriere may look in a pair of jeans; and still stressed as I think about the future and what next steps may be in my treatment - yet, this time I am breathing deeply, I am sitting back and I am taking time to smell the flowers. Each day is a gift and there is no better wrapping than a fine spring morning. Happy Easter everyone - enjoy the day!