Friday, January 8, 2010

Loss

On January 7th, on Cape Cod's Route 6 in Wellfleet, MA, the world lost an amazing woman due to an auto accident. She was 75, she was a mother, a grandmother; she was a part of a family who I believe is still trying to wrap their brains around this tragedy.

Why do I write this? I write because it is my family who is numb, who is angry, who just doesn't understand the good Lord's bigger plan; it my family who has lost a mother, a grandmother, a source of much love and much laughter.

I arrived home on the evening on the 7th planning to quickly walk back out the door and join my in-laws for dinner. The phone rang - I saw the NY exchange and recognized my brother Bill's phone number. He asked if I had spoken with my father and by the sound of his voice I knew all was not right. I had not talked to my Dad so my brother was the one to inform me about the passing of Martha Baumgaertel, matriarch extraordinaire, in circumstances that are just so wrong.

Many of you may say, wait - Baumgaertel? Wasn't your maiden name Burt? And isn't your grandfather alive and spending the winter down in Florida? Who is Martha?

Martha was a woman who reached inside her heart and embraced my brother and I when her daughter and my father married. She never forgot us at Christmas and signed each and every card she ever gave us "Love, Grandma Marty" - such a honor. She was a woman who always looked for the good in people and was always quick to give someone a good hug. She enjoyed meeting the customers who would wander into the Asparagus Shed, and always had a good story to tell about her discussions from the day. She was a wonderful cook so when she offered to make a wedding cake for Greg and I after learning of our plans to be married on Cape Cod, I quickly said yes. To this day I still think about that cake, not because it was my wedding cake, not because the room was so warm and causing the icing to melt (I did not even notice); no, I still think about that cake because it was so delicious.

I began to replay in my mind all the wonderful times we have spent with my Dad, Linda, my brothers, sister and all significant others - whether it be in NJ or on the Cape - if Marty was there, I realized that she was always smiling. Always laughing. In fact my favorite memory of her is one from not so long ago, the setting may have been my brother Nick's college graduation party. It was a warm early summer night on the Cape. We were celebrating Nick's success pond side in my father's beautiful backyard, listening to ABBA, eating, drinking, and laughing. Sounds corny, right? It wasn't; in fact, it was almost magical. Someone brought sparklers, which were lit and handed out to all, illuminating the yard. Everyone began to dance, including Marty. We danced until the music ended. It is this image of her that I will hold in my heart: singing along to ABBA, laughing and keeping the beat on a perfect Cape Cod summer night surrounded by those who loved her and will miss her terribly.

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