Summer Sunday

Sunday dawned sunny and warm and I awoke feeling, well, pretty good! So good we decide on a road trip down to New Hope, PA. We strolled the streets, admired the multitude of bikes and then headed off to Shelly and John's for a lovely, lazy afternoon lunch. Olivia is beautiful and getting so big - birthday #1 is just around the corner. We missed seeing Miss Julia but know that 11 year olds have so many better things to do than hang out with us boring adults.

It appears late afternoon/early evening is my witching hour. I start to "melt" for better lack of a term. I suddenly felt extremely tired and just wanted to lie down. We drove home and I dozed in the warm car. By the time we were home I was feeling a bit better. We walked Tacoma, had a light meal and I am feeling fine. The one ever present issue I seem to be dealing with a tingling in my mouth which is fine if I have ice or anything cold. I try to not to think about it for what I visualize is not what I actually see!

Mondayquickly approaches - I have a 9am visit with Dr. Shapiro, just a follow-up. Then- off to work. Eating every two hours ought to prove interesting!

Hmm - so this is what "it" feels like.

So Friday was acyually uneventful. I felt okay, could log on do some work, be on conference calls, attend an evening yoga class with Jess, walk with Gregg and Tacoma on the last round of the day, take my Ativan, read and go to bed. Oh, I did give myself my Neulasta shot, no big deal. Piece of cake! Bring on Saturday!

Woke up, had breakfast went hiking at the Tourne with my brother, Christine and the kids - no too taxing - a 30 minute jaunt up and down the hill. Spending time with all them always brings me joy - those kids are just so funny! Met Jess for a mani/pedi , came home did lunch and figured I settle in and watch a chick flick by myself so selected "27 Dresses" and sat back. Perhaps it was my film selection but I felt a strange malaise come over me; not exactly "sick" but not exactly "right". Ah - I believe it to be fatigue but I can't really sleep... weird. I am bored but don't feel like doing anything. Had to turn down what I know would have been a delightful dinner with Jess and Tony home cooked at her place. Seems all that appeals to me right now is scrambled eggs. Lucklily Greg was willing to cook! So I have resigned myself to a night of bad TV possibly an early bedtime and hope that Sunday is better!

The Morning After

Happy Friday! My evening was uneventful and I actually slept quite soundly (thank you Ativan!) Seems some folks are having issues viwing my blog so this entry will be short and sweet as a test. More later!

One down 15 to go!!!!

Well, no sooner than I had hit "PUBLISH" on my last post; the phone rang and it was my nurse telling me they would have my drug and to come on in! Interesting start to the day!

Treatment went very well and right now (9:15pm) I feel fine. It took 5 hours - first I had an anti-nausea med, followed by my study drug (I am in the Avistin clinical trial), then followed by the Adrimycin - this drug is bright red and does interestinn things to the fluids that leave my body - topped off by Cytoxin with a feww ccs of saline to cap the day!

So now I wait, for what I am not sure but I hope I have no incredibly awful side effects. I am okay with the hair loss thing it is the thought of feeling sick and so very tired that scares me the most. Tomorrow I take a Neulasta shot to increase my white blood cell production. Thankfully I am adept at injections so no need to visit a doc. Side effect from this drug could be bone pain. BONE PAIN??? As if having cancer isn't bad enough and you get sick and want to vomit and you get tired, so very tired, so let's throw in a little bone pain just for fun... Ah, that old adage rings through my head :WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER!" I sure as hell hope so.

So like I may have said before, yoo may learn more about me than you have ever known but please, please, please pass along my blog to any woman facing breast cancer or to any man who cares for a woman facing it so she/he knows they are not alone. I am also willing to talk to anyone so please feel free to give out my contact info. I know having co-workers who face or have faced the same demon and were so willing to talk to me made the start of my journey so much easier. I'll keep you posted as to how I feel over next few days - this should be a wild ride!!!

Can you hear me yelling???

Okay - today is not going as planned.... I received a call from my oncologist's office and it seems that they will not have my drugs today meaning I cannot start chemo today... and they are closed tomorrow... ARGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Long story short I may not start until Monday which of course throws off my entire schedule. Such is life. Just when I thought I had this under control, seems I have truly do not. I am waiting to hear from the nurse. I have a sneaking suspicion this is due to the clinical trial I agreed to participate in.

So, I have a some open questions such as: if I pull out of trial can I start today?; if my 1st treatment is Monday, can I move to Thursday for all others? Once I hear from my nurse I'll update!!!

Iron Man, E.T. and Me!!!

I can proudly say I now have something in common with two great Hollywood icons: Iron Man and ET (Thanks Brian and Amy!) - yes we three all have something implanted in our chest wall! I inquired about making mine glow but the nurses mumbled something about "up the anesthesia..." and that was the last thing I heard!

So as you can surmise, I have successfully survived having my Mediport implanted yesterday. It was a very long day - my thanks to John and Greg for waiting it out with me. I was told to be at NYU by 10:30, seems surgery was scheduled for 12:15 but I did not get wheeled in until almost 3pm... and I had no coffee that morning or food/water all day - so I was a bit cranky on top of nervous about having a piece of plastic and metal implanted in my body! (Okay no piercing comments!) So aside from feeling like I have been hit several times by a very large truck - I am okay. I have been assured by my surgeon and her staff that what I am feeling is completely normal and I am in fine shape to begin chemotherapy tomorrow. I am not quite sure how they define normal but I am very happy I live in the 21st century and have wonderful things like pain medication! Last night was quite difficult but I anticipate with each hour that passes I'll feel better and better.

So - you must have received my incredibly long email which directed you to my blog. Special shout out to my dear friend Ted (TAL - dig the jet black hair!) for assisting me with this endeavor and to Jen Marks for giving me the inspiration to do so. You may learn more about me than you care to know but at minimum you can get the latest low-down on my battle against the beast! Fair warning, I have heard that certain operating systems are displaying my blog template a bit odd so it may appear difficult to read. My apologies!

Once again I thank you all for the continued support. I admit I am a bit fearful about jumping off the cliff tomorrow but I know the sooner I begin therapy, the sooner it will be over and all of this will be behind me so I can look back and say "Cancer? Been there, done that, beat it!!!"

Spring Lake 5

What a glorious day! The weather was perfect, the beach was beautiful and I ran a decent time in the Spring Lake 5 (51 minutes: it is all relative these days!) Many, many thanks to Jen, Shannon, and John for making it a great morning - most of all to John for being my running partner and checking in every so often to make sure I was okay! Greg did a great job as "bag boy"!!! Visiting Bar A took me back oh about 15 years.... which is probably the last time I was there (special shout out to Chris Melone because I believe I was with her) All in all the day was great but I can't help but think about how good I feel and how possibly at the same time next week I'll be feeling like crap... I know, I know - it is just temporary!