Ah Autumn is upon us: pumpkins and colorful mums abound; Halloween stores have popped up in practically every vacant commercial space, it is still dark when I get up to run in the morning, and the acorns are falling. Everywhere. No exaggeration - the Newark Star Ledger even included a piece about the proliferation of acorns fall 2010 has brought and the positive side of their increased numbers. (They aid in reforestation efforts; who knew?)
October is half way over and the stores near us have begun pushing holiday merchandise in earnest. Only two more weeks of "pink power" remain for which I am thankful. I am saying this even though I will always remember the significance of October in my treatment two years ago as the month within which I finished chemo, I admit I am suffering pink fatigue. I have been posting a daily "pink item" on my Facebook page and believe me, there is no lack of things to post.
I had the honor this past week of attending a lecture by Dr. Susan Love - one of the leaders of breast cancer research and the creator of the Army of Women. The Army of Women was created to bring together one million people, men, women, cancer survivors, etc. into a pool that researchers can access virally and quickly to conduct studies that in the past may have taken five years just to complete a co-hort to test. Yes, the Internet is not all for evil! If you have not joined, please consider doing so - you do not need to do anything except review the studies that are e-mailed to you. You may or may not fit the profile of the type of participant needed but you might just know someone who does. Dr. Love is not out to cure breast cancer; she wants to find its cause so we can stop it and no longer need to search for a cure. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing? Check it out and please become one in million! http://www.armyofwomen.org/
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Just a bit of Pixie dust
Yes, Halloween is only two weeks way (how can that be???!!!) but my friend Jess and I were not having a dress rehearsal. Our attire was in celebration of running the inaugural Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon - an event that started at 10pm, brought you through Disney's Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios before ending in Epcot during their food and wine festival. I never had had so much fun during a race - I may just have to don my Tinkerbell outfit for all future events! I guess it was the wings that elicited so many comments; that made folks want to grab a photo with me - well that or the fact that a 42 year old woman was running around Disneyworld in the middle of the night dressed like Tinkerbell... hmm... like I said, I truly enjoyed myself as Disney really knows how to host an event - music, well tended hydration stations and of course - having Mickey himself kick-off the race - made for a great event. Jess looked great in her Minnie gear - so glad I have friends who can embrace a bit of wackiness now and then!
It has been a while since I have written. The days are quickly growing shorter, so much so that I am typing this as I wait for daylight so I can get out and run. October not only brings shorter days and Halloween, it also brings breast cancer awareness month. Seems everything is pink and it leaves me strangely unsettled. Are we losing or gaining focus by branding every consumer item with a pink ribbon? And I mean everything - I have been posting a daily photo on my Facebook page of things that have been "pinked" - from your checkcard to Brillo pads - that pink ribbon is everywhere.
So as a breast cancer survivor I try to do my part. I participated in the NYC Komen Race for the Cure. I am organizing a "pink" bake sale at work. I implore my friends and family to be vigilant in getting their mammograms. However I have a problem with buying wine or potato chips that have a pink ribbon on them. It just seems, well, wrong. No, the idea of Sutter Home or Frito-Lay donating money does not seem wrong to me - I guess it is just the positioning. Or is it the Komen organization I should direct my concern to? Can I blame them for wanting to get their branding out there and having more money funneled to the cause? No, I can't. I admit I did benefit from Komen research funding. I also admit I think it is great to bring such awareness to the cause - even if the pink chin straps and cleats that the NFL donned was a bit of a stretch. I worry that there is so much of it that eventually people will no longer see beyond the "pink" and forget how many are impacted by this disease. I hope that one day there will be no need for pink M&Ms other than Easter; that wearing all pink in October is nothing more than a fashion faux pas and that we can all say - "remember that nasty thing called breast cancer, glad we do not have to deal with that anymore"... until then I will support the cause as best I can and try to not to get so worked up over seeing even dog food "pinkified"!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Bucket List
I spent last weekend in the mountains of New Hampshire with 11 people crazy enough to join me on "The Situation"; my team for the 2010 Reach the Beach Relay. To know what this event is like, first stay awake for 30 hours, run anywhere from 4 - 8 miles every six hours while awake and make sure the last 1/4 mile is on a nice sandy beach. Throw in 5000 other runners, more porta-potties than you ever want to see, and there - doesn't it sound like fun???
Actually it was and I have to say we laughed - a lot! (What else do you do at 3am when you are awake and wearing a headlamp?) Upon crossing the finish line I thought to myself - "there, another thing on my list - complete!". It wasn't until later this week when reading a magazine article about Randy Pausch that the whole "bucket list" concept really impacted me. You may recall Randy's very poignant "Last Lecture" as he was a professor at Carnegie Mellon who became a YouTube sensation for giving his students the lecture of a lifetime just prior to his death. Anyway, like I said, I was reading an article where Dr. Oz was recalling a conversation he had with Randy when they spoke about taking a trip to swim with the dolphins. Randy stated it took a terminal diagnosis for him to take his family on this trip they had always dreamed of. Dr. Oz, hearing Randy's message loud and clear, booked the same trip for his family that very day for he realized how quickly life can change and why not do those things on our "lists" for if we do not - will we ever?
For me that is what it was all about - just doing something many consider outside the norm. For those who have done it (even though we may groan and complain during every one of those 30 hours) holding that medal can be pretty satisfying. The past 3 years have been full of teachable moments and if I have learned anything it has been that my list will always get longer but as long as I can continually cross things off of it, then I am truly living.
Hmm, not sure why I am feeling somewhat so introspective at 5:30am. I suppose the fact that I am getting ready for a 20 mile training run with my brother may have something to do with it. Running a marathon with my brother - yes, another item off my list. What is on yours and what are you doing to make sure you get to cross those things off as "completed"?
Actually it was and I have to say we laughed - a lot! (What else do you do at 3am when you are awake and wearing a headlamp?) Upon crossing the finish line I thought to myself - "there, another thing on my list - complete!". It wasn't until later this week when reading a magazine article about Randy Pausch that the whole "bucket list" concept really impacted me. You may recall Randy's very poignant "Last Lecture" as he was a professor at Carnegie Mellon who became a YouTube sensation for giving his students the lecture of a lifetime just prior to his death. Anyway, like I said, I was reading an article where Dr. Oz was recalling a conversation he had with Randy when they spoke about taking a trip to swim with the dolphins. Randy stated it took a terminal diagnosis for him to take his family on this trip they had always dreamed of. Dr. Oz, hearing Randy's message loud and clear, booked the same trip for his family that very day for he realized how quickly life can change and why not do those things on our "lists" for if we do not - will we ever?
For me that is what it was all about - just doing something many consider outside the norm. For those who have done it (even though we may groan and complain during every one of those 30 hours) holding that medal can be pretty satisfying. The past 3 years have been full of teachable moments and if I have learned anything it has been that my list will always get longer but as long as I can continually cross things off of it, then I am truly living.
Hmm, not sure why I am feeling somewhat so introspective at 5:30am. I suppose the fact that I am getting ready for a 20 mile training run with my brother may have something to do with it. Running a marathon with my brother - yes, another item off my list. What is on yours and what are you doing to make sure you get to cross those things off as "completed"?
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Life lessons
Wow - September arrived and is rushing by...we are just about at the mid-point of the month already. This past weekend was a busy one. We attended "Lobsterfest" 2010 with some of my "BFFs" on a day that was picture perfect. So picture perfect you could not help but compare it the day 9 years earlier that changed all of us forever. The sky was that same picture perfect blue; not a cloud in sight. We reflected on our lives and toasted to the fact we were together and we were healthy: it was a wonderful day.
Today, I walked 3.1 miles in Central Park with 24,000 other people all somehow impacted by breast cancer. I was one of 1,600 survivors. Unfortunately I was "alone" - my husband had to work and my mom was off on a long planned vacation. Since I was team captain for my employer's corporate team, I needed to get into the city early so got up in the dark, ate breakfast, donned my best pink finery and hit the road. I admit to feeling very sad as a drove in to NYC. Sure, I was going to be walking with my co-workers and seeing a post from my friend Lauren in the early morning hours made me smile; but I could not kick the blues even though surrounded by a sea of pink.
I gathered with other folks from the team and it was then I started to feel a bit better. Two co-workers were walking "just because" and both of them were fairly new to the company. I walked with a small group and I enjoyed talking to all of them. The rain held out until the end and only lasted a few minutes. I decided to stop of at the survivor village. Out of the blue a fellow survivor walked up to me and asked if I was by myself. When I said, yes, I was there by myself, she said, "So am I" - she hugged me and said, "Aren't we lucky?"
Those few words snapped me out of my funk and I realized, yes, we were lucky. We were there, we were walking, we had made it through and were able to say we were survivors. As I looked out at the sea of people walking past me - so many with the words "In Memory of..." scribed on their shirt along with a name it caused me to take pause. I was in the park today- pink hair and all - thanks to those who may have not been with me today but were with me when I needed them most. Lucky indeed.
Today, I walked 3.1 miles in Central Park with 24,000 other people all somehow impacted by breast cancer. I was one of 1,600 survivors. Unfortunately I was "alone" - my husband had to work and my mom was off on a long planned vacation. Since I was team captain for my employer's corporate team, I needed to get into the city early so got up in the dark, ate breakfast, donned my best pink finery and hit the road. I admit to feeling very sad as a drove in to NYC. Sure, I was going to be walking with my co-workers and seeing a post from my friend Lauren in the early morning hours made me smile; but I could not kick the blues even though surrounded by a sea of pink.
I gathered with other folks from the team and it was then I started to feel a bit better. Two co-workers were walking "just because" and both of them were fairly new to the company. I walked with a small group and I enjoyed talking to all of them. The rain held out until the end and only lasted a few minutes. I decided to stop of at the survivor village. Out of the blue a fellow survivor walked up to me and asked if I was by myself. When I said, yes, I was there by myself, she said, "So am I" - she hugged me and said, "Aren't we lucky?"
Those few words snapped me out of my funk and I realized, yes, we were lucky. We were there, we were walking, we had made it through and were able to say we were survivors. As I looked out at the sea of people walking past me - so many with the words "In Memory of..." scribed on their shirt along with a name it caused me to take pause. I was in the park today- pink hair and all - thanks to those who may have not been with me today but were with me when I needed them most. Lucky indeed.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
September Already?
The past few weeks have been busy which I guess is why it seems time is flying by. I have committed to running the Marine Corps Marathon with my brother and friend Jess on Halloween. So, yes in eight short weeks I'll once again do that crazy 26.2 mile run. (Note emphasis on "crazy"!) Training has begun and we are up to 16 miles for our long runs. Yes, training sucks up a lot of time.
Speaking of training my tri season has come to an end, capped off nicely with me taking home the above pictured souvenir from the inaugural Asbury Park SheRox event. Greg and I had a fabulous weekend "down at the shore" - thankfully I was not cognizant of the fact that the water I was swimming through for the swim leg of my tri felt like tapioca due to the multitudes of jellyfish, and the beautiful homes of Deal distracted me from registering the miles I pedaled on my bike. We had wonderful meals at places like Moonstruck, The Boards, Stella Marina and Avenue. Asbury Park, Long Branch, and Ocean Grove have come a long way since the days of my late teens and early 20's when we would not even stop in town on our way to the beach due to fear of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The weekend was hot and sunny, the beaches packed with Snooki and Situation wanna-bes, the boardwalk full of folks strolling along desperate for an ocean breeze, and in late evening the moon rose up over the ocean a brilliant red-orange orb that slowly faded to rose then to white providing a spectacular show over the water. Ah summer - how I hate to see you go!
As much as I hate for summer to end, I do admit to truly enjoying the fall. I love the crisp air and seeing the riot of colors that autumn brings to the trees. I love wearing sweaters and the smell of the first fire being stoked in neighborhood fireplaces. September brings many great events - the Komen Race for the Cure, the 2010 Reach the Beach Relay, and the season finale of True Blood. I have one more visit to my oncologist for my final Zometa infusion and that should be it for doctor visits for the year. When I look back at the summer of 2010 I'll recall the incredible weather I had while staying on the Cape; diving through the waves at the Jersey Shore; and the birth of our newest neighbor Sofia Isis Jones. Surgery seems so long ago, my incision scars are slowly fading from an angry red to light pink, and I have no need to return to the Cancer Center until next year. Until then I have training to do, holidays and birthdays to celebrate, places to go and people to see - so, "so long summer", I am sure my longing for you will hit just around say March...
Monday, August 16, 2010
Follow up
It is a gloomy Monday morning and I am getting ready to make the trek into NYC to visit my doctor - well, one of my doctors! It has been seven weeks since my surgery so I am hopeful she will tell me that I am finally healing as I should, that my stitches have dissolved and that I will not need to see her again until next year.
I'll be heading back to the NYU Cancer Center in only another two weeks for my mammogram. This excursion of course brings a certain amount of anxiety to my life. For the next few days I cannot help but recall the mammogram that started the need for this blog. Yes, I am thankful my cancer was caught, removed, treated. I am thankful that we have technology that allows this sort of diagnosis to no longer be a death sentence and every year treatment options get better. Still, I will have butterflies and restless sleep until I get the "all clear" that day.
Thankfully we had a wonderful weekend - dinner with friends Friday evening to kick it off; a glorious Saturday sunny and cool on which we attended an open water swim clinic on Lake Hopatcong (well, that was only me) my 25th (OMG!) high school reunion, our neighbor's 2nd birthday and a lake celebration with friends. All said I was still in bed before ten but guess my body needed the sleep as I missed my Sunday morning cycling date. I ended up swimming laps and running ten miles in the rain with my brother. I'll see what the doctor says this morning about how this body of mine is healing and make my decision. I best get going as Monday morning traffic is never good!
I'll be heading back to the NYU Cancer Center in only another two weeks for my mammogram. This excursion of course brings a certain amount of anxiety to my life. For the next few days I cannot help but recall the mammogram that started the need for this blog. Yes, I am thankful my cancer was caught, removed, treated. I am thankful that we have technology that allows this sort of diagnosis to no longer be a death sentence and every year treatment options get better. Still, I will have butterflies and restless sleep until I get the "all clear" that day.
Thankfully we had a wonderful weekend - dinner with friends Friday evening to kick it off; a glorious Saturday sunny and cool on which we attended an open water swim clinic on Lake Hopatcong (well, that was only me) my 25th (OMG!) high school reunion, our neighbor's 2nd birthday and a lake celebration with friends. All said I was still in bed before ten but guess my body needed the sleep as I missed my Sunday morning cycling date. I ended up swimming laps and running ten miles in the rain with my brother. I'll see what the doctor says this morning about how this body of mine is healing and make my decision. I best get going as Monday morning traffic is never good!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
The Long and The Short of It
It has been an interesting summer so far. We are in the home stretch: the hot and humid days of August have arrived and the days grow shorter. Tomorrow marks six weeks post surgery for me. I feel pretty good but have not healed as quickly as I would have liked. I still have my stitches, doing ab work is not yet a good thing and I had to skip a triathlon last weekend because I was still experiencing some "side effects" of healing - I will not go into graphic detail but suffice to say my body was readily telling me I was in no shape to swim/bike/run.
Well, that was last week. I am going to try again - or is that "tri again"? This weekend brings the Pequannock Tri, a shorter distance tri and one I think manageable. I say this as I prepare to go practice an open water swim at 9pm with my brother. Hmm - this should prove interesting. At least no one will see me struggle in and out of my wetsuit!
Our kitchen renovation is complete, again I ask myself why I have these types of projects completed while I am home dealing with a complex disease. In 2008 while in the throes of chemotherapy we had the cabin sandblasted and restained. I stayed at my mom's. This go around we ripped down walls, cabinets, the works. I stayed at my mom's, my dad's and my in-laws. It is good to have family both nearby and those who live in a summer vacation spot!
While convalescing after surgery and awaiting the dreaded results phone call I decided that if I indeed was going to face chemotherapy once again, I was going to go long first. Hence the photo above. Extensions were fun but very hot. I feel much lighter without them but plan on having them againn soon - perhaps in the cold winter months.
Much to look forward to during these dog days of summer: I'll be seeing the Adams Family on Broadway, visiting with my friend Patrice who is coming to town from Missouri, I'll be honored by the Komen NYC Race for the Cure for once again being one of the top 100 fundraisers - this time for 2009; my 25th (gasp!) high school reunion is being held nearby, I have tickets to Tears fro Fears with Jess and hope to participate in the SheRox Triathlon at the end of the month. Whew! I best go hit the lake!!!
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