Three years goes by fast

So yesterday came and went like any other normal Thursday.  It did not hit me until I was trying to go to sleep last night and found myself unable, that to that I realized that April 7, 2011 marked the three year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis.  It was a milestone of a day that changed my life forever and I did not even register it until I was comparing my current sleepless state to that I experienced while going through treatment due to the various effects my medications were having on me as well as all the variations of emotions I would experience on a daily basis such as anger, sadness, despair, and their polar opposites, hope, happiness, etc. I take it as a good sign that I just went about my day without focusing on the past.

However, there is still much to be done in the fight against breast cancer.  I have attached the link to a documentary that speaks quite eloquently to the cause.  Every 69 seconds somewhere in the world a woman will die of breast cancer.  Think about that - every sixty nine seconds...

1 a minute

P.S. To Joan who posted a comment to my blog a while back - yes, KM is the same KM you went to college with!  She asked if you could contact her via Facebook or send me your e-mail address as I cannot see it from your post!

Whoa! What happened to that month???!!!

I am in denial that it is already April 4th. How the heck did that happen? I swear I just posted my happiness over completing my 1st class and being able to breathe. So where did those 30 days go to?

Well, for starters, my 2nd class, Nutrition, started. Back to the Friday and Saturday evenings spent in from of my computer. I finally (after only 20 years) made it out to St. Louis to visit my friend Patrice and see her lovely home, meet her dogs, spend time with her and her husband. It was a great trip but over far too soon! Throw in a few days of business travel, some final snow days, and planning for my upcoming Coachella trip not to mention the fact that triathlon training season has officially begun and dragon boat practice starts next week... I guess I am once again a bit under water.

Thankfully, I can say that I made it through March without a major health issue! Woohoo! I am just shy of the three year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. Amazing - some days it seems like yesterday, others like another lifetime all together. I have one more Zometa infusion to go which that will be in July. I am already planning my "Made it to 5 years" celebration - it will be quite the blow-out, as everyone knows there is nothing I enjoy more than to host a great party! (It will be December 2013 if you would like to mark your calendar!)

And since we don't have that much going on (and there is a bridge I can get you a really good deal on...), Greg and I are considering once again opening our hearts to a dog. While I know that no puppy can replace our Tacoma, I do miss having a dog. So, the search is on... stay tuned! Happy Spring everyone - take time to notice the glorious changes going on around you: trees are beginning to bud, crocus, hyacinths, and daffodils are surfacing here in NJ and of course - the bears are back!!!

Coming Up for Air

As spring slowly approaches here in Northern NJ, I am happy to report that as the last of the snow melts away and reveals the grass in my yard again, I too am becoming unburied, at least temporarily.  Last night I happily submitted my final project for the my first class towards my M.S. in Health Communications courtesy of Boston U.  My first class was Media Relations and I can honestly say I learned  A LOT!  For instance, I learned how different participating in a class online is from a traditional brick and mortar setting; I learned how much discipline it takes to sit home in front of my computer on a Friday evening reading lectures; I learned that my writing skills need more than a bit of polishing; and I learned that I am actually excited to move onto my next class as it means I am one step closer to the completion of my degree!

On a health front I am doing well.  I feel good, I have no immediate physician appointments to fret about, and I am doing that crazy running thing as often as possible - weather permitting! I ran the Hyannis Half Marathon this past weekend along with my fellow crazy runner Jess and my cousin Kristen.  Jess and I stayed at my Dad's.  My dad hosted a great pre-race dinner attended by my brothers Chris and Phil along with their families and my Uncle Frank, cousins Kenna and Kristen and some of their friends too.  It was great to see family; I was able to meet my new nephew Gavin, who I can say is incredibly adorable - not that I am biased or anything...
 
I am looking forward to rowing season starting; our first team meeting is next week.  I also will be beginning my Ironman training.  Greg and I are trying to take life day by day as it tends to speed by increasingly faster with each passing year.  For now, I get to take some deep breaths and stretch before diving back into total immersion and it feels pretty good.

Sunshine Causes Procrastination

I should be placing the final touches on my Week 4 assignment for school, but I am not.  I should be getting my wardrobe for the week together, but I am not.  I should be folding laundry, going grocery shopping, making sure I have a Valentine's Day card for my husband, reviewing my work calendar to see what the upcoming week will bring, but I am not.

Of course I am sitting in front of the computer.  I caught myself doing a lot of staring out the window at the glorious sunshine and thought I should try typing away my inability to focus.  So far, it is not working.

Ah stress - what havoc it can cause...I have developed a twitch under my eye - a sure sign for me.  I think last time I had it I was told I had cancer.  Before that it was when I was applying for a mortgage.  This time around I think it is the cumulative effect of realizing how much work school truly is; fearing my upcoming 1/2 marathon for which I am feeling woefully under trained; hearing of a fellow BCS paddler dealing with a recurrence; trying to figure out just what the heck we are going to do with my mother-in-law; and, oh yeah - did I mention I have a full time job and husband who every once in a while would like my attention?

Ever the optimist I plod forward - the race, I'll finish it; that will be my goal.  School?  Only 3 more weeks of this class and then onto "Nutrition" which I am very much looking forward to!  My mother-in-law... not an easy fix but Greg and I are searching for options and will hopefully find one soon.  For my friend Amy Z., I am praying - A LOT!  Here I sit and the sunshine is streaming through the window, warming the room and my heart.   Winter will soon be over and I'll get to paddle and run in the warm sunshine.  In between working and studying of course.  Speaking of which I should really finish my homework...

Dreaming of the Beach

It is the first of February and a Tuesday which must mean, yes, more snow.  How are the three related?  Well to be honest, only February should have any connection to snow and I suppose February in NJ would be even more a clear connection but how does Tuesday figure in?  It doesn't, but so far for winter 2011 it just doesn't matter.  The Northeast US is once again under the onslaught of the "perfect winter storm" - this one bringing not only snow but ice - the lovely dangerous, tree-snapping, roof collapsing stuff.  My back aches just thinking about clearing the driveway today.  On a positive note, it will count towards my workout since this weather is seriously hampering my ability to run outside and I really dislike running on a treadmill.

The past week was an interesting one.  Both my mother and my father joined the world of Facebook.  Whoa.  That fact alone is fodder for an entirely seperate post.(No offense Mom and Dad!)  I had a great visit with my radiologist who advised the study I was part of will be releasing its first results sometime in Feb/March and they are very promising.  Greg and I saw 127 Hours fulfilling my wish to see all of the 10 films up for Best Piciture on 2-27.  (I do still need to see Rabbit Hole, Blue Valentine and Biutiful)  We went snow tubing with my brother and his family at Mountain Creek and had wonderful time - so much fun embracing my inner child.  We visited Greg's dad and Jean who recently returned from the Barret Jackson auction in Arizona.  We celebrated Greg's 41st birthday by having dinner at the former estate of the King of Morrocco in Somerset, NJ - 90 Acres at Natirar.  Quite swank it was and quite delicious. (As are the chocolate chip cookies my mom made Greg for his birthday - he is not too keen on sharing them!)

In between all of the above I completed my 2nd week of online class, shoveled snow, booked a trip to Coachella with Jess and also had my annual DEXA bone scan along with a visit to my ob/gyn. (You may recall last year's annual visit resulted in my June surgery; I am optimistic this visit will not result in anything!)  Yes, a very full week. 

So again I sit, at home - my car is pretty horrible in the snow - I stare out the window at the white fluffy flakes raining down, listen to Pandora radio, and dream of Coast Guard Beach on a hot July afternoon.  I can almost smell my coconut sunscreen...

Seasonal Affective Disorder

It is a cold/icy/snowy/grey Tuesday in January and I am sad.  Oh sure I laugh and joke about needing an ultraviolet light in my house with which I could to bask in front; I might even casually mention that perhaps a quick jaunt to Florida will knock the blues from my being and the chills from my spine.  However, I am sad and it is not something that the sun can quickly remedy.

I am sad because while it is only Tuesday it has already proven to be a horrible week.  Two people I know fighting the good fight against the beast lost the war and left this world.  Two people much too young to have to had suffer through surgical procedure after surgical procedure as well as treatments that made them feel terrible and weak, and forced them to face their own mortality.   Two lives that were cut short due to that d*mn "C" word - yes, you know it,  - cancer.

Writing it, saying it, seeing it makes my stomach ache and my hands tremble.  I yell (to no one in particular) "This is the 21st century!  We were supposed to have hover cars and to have cured this thing... what the heck happened???!!!  Sure I have the distraction of school, of my job, and of course of snow removal.  I have many days ahead with great events scheduled, shows to see, and folks to spend time with; yet I am restless, angry at "the big plan" that we have no control over. I need a plan of attack, I need to do something - anything - to try to make this funk go away.  So I sit here and I type.  I will remember to call my family and tell them I love them.  I will enjoy time with my friends.  I will enjoy the snow by changing it into something to be conquered when I don snowshoes this Saturday.  I will once again be sure to embrace all that this life has given me - good and bad - and be thankful.  I will this life to the fullest I possibly can and hope that my example will inspire others to do the same.

So yes, I am sad but it is okay.  Being sad reminds me of how good it feels to be happy.  Being sad reminds me that I know love and loss.  Being sad is part of life and like I said, I 'll take it all - the good and the bad, the happy and the sad. 

Rest in Peace CL and MC. 

Welcome 2011!!!

One week into the new year and I still do not think I have decided what my resolutions will be... well, I guess that is not entirely true.   It has really come down to deciding which I think I might just keep. I do have quite a few so below is my top ten:

1. Return to school - that is covered, my MS of Health Communication program starts January 18th at my alma mater , Boston University.  Trying the online route, we will see how it goes!
2. Complete my 1st Ironman 70.3 - I am registered and have 9 months to train for this one.
3. Be more aware of the foods I eat - a wise friend said "if it can go bad, it is good for you" - referring to fruits, vegetables, fresh foods etc.  Thankfully a wonderful new market opened up walking distance from my house: The Art of Healthy Living.  Never thought I would hear myself saying, "boy, that blueberry hemp "iScream" is to die for"  but I have.
4. Simplify, simplify, simplify.  This is a tough one.  I am really referring to the material things in my life of which I have many and really do not need.  I have started paring down, donating many items to the local church thrift shop, the Lupus Foundation,  and Goodwill.  I admit I feel better with more open space.
5. Go electronic.  By go electronic I mean lose the day planner.  I have a blackberry, an iPhone and thanks to Santa, an iPad.  I am determined to transfer my hard copy calendar to my iPhone and so far have gotten through March...  more typing to go!
6. Stretch more.
7. Take time to do nothing.  Another tough one, but I am learning it is okay to just stay home.
8. See all the films nominated for best picture BEFORE the Oscars - working on this one having seen The Fighter and Black Swan so far...
9. Try one new thing a month.  (I have to have some fun!)  In January I will be trying snowshoeing for the first time as I join "Hey Snow Sister" for the 2011 Romp to Stomp 5K.  My friend Jess will be joining me as we snowshoe in the breast cancer awareness fundraiser.  I look forward to joining my friend Jim and his daughter - Jim is team captain - they know first hand why this disease needs to be wiped from the planet.
10. Procrastinate less.  Another tough one as I said to myself..."hmm, have not blogged in awhile - putting the holiday decorations in the attic can wait a bit....)  I really mean "Carpe diem!" with this one for if not now, when?

Happy New Year all - I hope 2011 is a year filled with love and good health and for me, another 358 days ( I had mentioned a week has already flown by?!!!) to appreciate this thing called life.